DOMESTIC ABUSE
Domestic violence is any pattern of behaviour in a relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner, child, parent or person who is a household member. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender and affects people of all socioeconomic levels.
Recognizing the signs of domestic abuse
Does your partner
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Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
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Put down your accomplishments?
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Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
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Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
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Tell you what to wear?
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Tell you that you are nothing without them?
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Treat you roughly—grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
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Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
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Call you constantly at work or arrive unexpectedly to check up on you?
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Accuse you of having affairs without reason?
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Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
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Blame you for how they feel or act?
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Pressure you sexually for things you aren’t ready for?
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Make you feel like there is “no way out” of the relationship?
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Prevent you from doing things you want – like spending time with friends or family?
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Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”?
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Withhold money from you?
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Makes you put your money into his account or a joint account that you cant access?
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Prevent you from being gainfully employed?
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Prevent you from going to work?
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Deny you access to treatment or medication?
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Threaten to harm you, your children, family members or pets if you leave?
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Check your phone, emails or social media?
Do you
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Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may behave?
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Feel anxious when you have to ask for money?
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Feel anxious when you have to attend a work function?
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Feel anxious when you are delayed in getting home?
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Avoid private calls when you are with your partner?
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Can't discuss concerns about your relationship with your partner without it blowing up?
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Feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells?
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Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behaviour?
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Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
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Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
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Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
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Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?
Forms of Domestic Violence
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CONTROLLING BEHAVIOUR:
Occurs when the victim is made to be dependent on or subservient to the abuser, e.g. isolating the victim from sources of support; regulating the everyday behaviour or movement of the victim, etc.
ECONOMIC ABUSE:
Depriving a person of financial resources which they are either entitled to or which they necessarily need for rent,or a bond, household expenses and school fees. Using a persons financial resources without permission or manipulating a person to either giving up control of their money or property, or signing a legal document that gives control of their finances to someone else.
EMOTIONAL, VERBAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE:
Is degrading, manipulating, threatening, offencive, intimidating or humiliating behaviour towards a person
EXPOSE A CHILD TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:
Occurs where the abuser intentionally causes a child to see or hear domestic violence, or experience the effects of domestic violence.
ELDER ABUSE:
Relates to an abuse of an older person within a domestic relationship as contemplated in the Older Persons Act, 2006 (Act No. 13 of 2006);
HARASSMENT:
Causing a complainant to fear being harmed or having their property damaged, stalking, loitering near or outside a building where a complainant lives, works or studies, repeatedly contacting a person using electronic communication, repeatedly sending packages, accessing a complainant's communications, monitoring or tracking ones movements.
INTIMIDATION:
Behaviour that is meant to force a person to do or not to do something which they have a lawful right to do or not to do.
PHYSICAL ABUSE:
Includes any act or threat of physical violence, depriving a person of their freedom, administering or attempting to administer drugs, medication or any other harmful substance or chemical without a persons consent or withholding a person medication.
RELATED PERSON ABUSE:
It is now possible for a person to take a legal action in terms of this Act against the abuser who threatens to cause or commits physical violence to or damage to property of a related person, where such actions can in the circumstances be regarded to cause harm to the related person concerned.
SEXUAL ABUSE:
Any act that abuses, humiliates, degrades or violates someone's sexual integrity
SEXUAL HARASSMENT:
Includes unwelcome sexual attention, behaviour, suggestions, gestures, comments or communication from the abuser who knows or ought reasonably to know that such attention is unwelcome is offensive, degrading. Promise a reward in exchange for sexualy orientated request or theatening to act against a person who rejects their promise.
SPIRITUAL ABUSE:
Includes the manipulation of the victim’s religious or spiritual convictions and beliefs to justify or rationalise the abuse of such victim.