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16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence Day 1


All abuse is defined in our Domestic Violence Act, it is our manual. The regulations for our courts and SAPS are premised on The Domestic Violence Act. All forms of gender-based violence are described in the Act.


The Domestic Violence Act is significant legislation but sadly like many others, it is a great ligislation in ink only. It is the same if you are reporting any sexual, physical or non-physical form of abuse, the experiences in the system and outcomes are that there is no point in getting a protection order because there is no protection.


The Domestic Violence Act was introduced to provide maximum protection against domestic abuse. Domestic violence does not discriminate, it affects all humans and yes it is nuanced and complex. However, our most vulnerable; women, children, the elderly, and our LGBTQ community are more at risk of being victims of Domestic Violence because they are;

  • Unable to leave abusive relationships.

  • Unable to access help,

  • Unable to get proper support.

  • Unable to be protected.

  • Unable to recover and live a life free of fear, harassment, and abuse and have agency of and for their lives.


"GBV is a severe socio-economic problem, which is fundamentally rooted in unequal power dynamics between women and men" - President Ramaphosa


At enormous expense and effort, we have a Gender Based Violence National Strategic Plan in response to thousands of women who took to the treets all around South Africa demanding an end to GBV; there is a lot that has been developed and implemented, and progress has been made, and it will take time to see other benefits. Despite a collaborative multi-sectoral effort by all stakeholders, the vulnerable fall through a huge crevasse.


My own and hundreds of victims are not experiencing fundamental change; what we experience is that the system has not improved and continues to fail the victims consistently at every level; there is little to no protection; in fact, the opposite is expressed Victims are put more at risk.


We talk about the system but the system is made up of people, civil servants (employed to serve) are employed to perform critical tasks, Those in the justice cluster have an even greater responsibility TO PROTECT VICTIMS.


There is still a perception that domestic violence is physical abuse and the most harmful form of abuse, and as long as other equally harmful forms of abuse, the non-physical forms of abuse are given the same significance, we will not see a significant reduction in GBVF. Physical abuse is never experienced in isolation and vicitms expereince multiple forms of abuse and it is important to understand and identify all the forms of abuse the vicitm has experience so that the vicitm can be properly protect.


The lack of proper training is evident every day in our family court cluster. I have yet to meet a person who works in the system and understands coercive controlling behavior, the tools, the intersections, and the impacts. In the absence of proper training and a vicitm centric approach to victims they will not be protected, our courts are denying victims protection, excusing and normalising controlling abusive behaviour.


Emotional and psychological abuse, intimidation, threats, harassment, stalking, and economic and financial abuse are all behavioural tactics to coerce and control and there are many different tools used to coerce and control: money, children, employment, sex, shelter, and the legal system are the most common ones.


It is critically important that everybody who works in the family courts and any professional who deals with family matters has a comprehensive understanding of all forms of abusive behaviour, their intersectionality, and their impacts otherwise vicitms experiences will not change.


We should not have to spell out the impacts of withholding money like child support, settling divorce agreements, or preventing one from working,

We should not have to spell out what harm is caused by gaslighting.

We should not have to spell out how our self-esteem has been eroded because of verbal and psychological abuse.

We should not have to spell out how living in fear of being punished or harmed because we did not comply with conditions set out by a controller impacts our physical well-being; if we do disclose, it is used as a weapon to discredit or further harm the victim.

We should not have to explain in great detail that we have no support due to the isolation tactic of controllers.

If these people were informed - they would understand the many risks and act in a manner and with the urgency required to protect victims.


There is very little, if any, PROTECTION for victims in maintenance courts, children’s courts, domestic violence courts, and divorce matters and courts. If these courts ignore and diminish domestic violence, WHO SHOULD be protecting victims?


The rhetorical question is WHY DO WE HAVE A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ACT if it is not doing what it is legislated to do especially in family courts, vicitms are told not to focus on the past but work towards the future. The truth is that this continues long into the future expecially if you have children born from the relationship causing unbelievable harm.




We deserve better and Government should DO better

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