16 Days of Activisim against Gender-Based Violence - Day 3

Coercive Controlling behaviour.

Coercive Control encapsulates all forms of domestic violence. It is a pattern of behavior or strategy by a person that uses threats, menacing, intimidation, stalking, manipulation, isolation humiliation, financial abuse, gaslighting, physical and sexual abuse to coerce and control their vicitim.

The patterns are designed to isolate a person so that they become dependent on a person for financial, emotional, housing and food and even their connection to the world.

Coercive control involves slowly hijacking a person's life, stealing their independence and their ability to take action. And governing their every move that they make. It creates invisible chains that are controlling, manipulative, exploitative and trapped.

Words like Hostage, Exploitation and Sabotage are used to describe victims experience of Coercive Controlling Behavior much like prisoners of war, there is some interesting research on the similarities of how prisoners of war and vicitms of coercive controlling behaviour behave.

Understanding Coercive Control and using the correct language is important to describe this insidious form of behaviour and the many strategies and tools used to coerce and control victims.

Abusers are controllers and should be referred to as THE CONTROLLER when describing the behaviour. Understanding coercive control makes it easier for victims to identify the patterns, their abuse and articulate the harm caused.

Many of the behaviours defined in the DV Act are criminalised in South Africa however this makes it complex to investigate and prosecute for many reasons including cognitive biases, culture and religion which normalises some abusive behaviours. Coerce Controlling behaviour should be criminalised then the focus is on the behaviour, the tools and the evidence which is; intimidation, threats, stalking and harassment and the tools used such as money, children and litigation. Prosecuting domestic violence/abusive behaviour as defined in our DV Act would be strengthened.

Unlike physical abuse, coercive behaviour can be perpetrated from anywhere, at any time and by any means, what makes it difficult to see is that it is done covertly, silently and is often invisible to anybody else and does not leave physical evidence which can be easily documented on a J form as evidence.

●Clerks at the Domestic Violence Courts should be properly trained on coercive controlling behaviour so that they can assist victims when applying for protection orders.

●SAPS officials should be properly trained on coercive controlling behaviour so that they can assist victims when reporting incidents and violations of protection orders.

●Prosecutors should be properly trained so that they can guide the investigations and have the correct evidence for succesful prosecutions.

●Magistrates should be properly trained so that they can identify coercive controlling behaviour and protect victims when applying for protection orders and violations.

●Judges should be properly trained so that they can identify coercive controlling behaviour when hearing family matters in high court.

If all the above role players were properly informed they would do risk assessments, they would not put victims at more risk of further abuse and more coercive control.

We need greater awareness, education, support and advocacy on Coercive Control.

16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence. Day 2

International Economic Abuse Awareness Day was founded by the Canadian Centre For Womens Empowerment https://ccfwe.org/ in 2019 to raise awareness of Economic Abuse and assist vicitms. I was invited to join the International Coalition in 2022 https://againsteconomicabuse.org/

#16DaysOfActivism

The Domestic Violence Act recognises Economic Abuse as a form of domestic violence and it often occurs in the context of domestic relationships, past and present. It involves controlling a partner or ex-partner’s money or access to money that causes dependence and limits their agency.

He who controls the money controls you!

Economic Abuse is one of the behaviours of coercive controlling behaviour and money is the tool used to cause harm.

Economic Abuse is often disguised and normalised in social gender norms of men being providers and heads of households and they make most of the financial decisions. Men earn more than women, and women give up careers or take sabbaticals from their careers to become caregivers and homemakers, which creates immediate vulnerability and dependence and long into the future.

Having a child with a controller places a victim at even greater risk as the child becomes the glue that binds her to the controller. A vicitm can't move provinces never mind relocating to another country or returning to their country of birth if you have a child with the controller, held hostage by the controller and forced to have some kind of a relationship with him due to co-parenting. Many demand their right to co-parent yet purposefully neglect their financial responsibility towards their children.

An international scale of economic abuse was developed to measure abusive behaviours which include control, exploitation, and sabotage, for example;

●he may discourage or prevent her from working,

●harass and disrupt her at work,

●purposely ruin her credit score,

●demand to know how money was spent,

●spend money that was designated for bills, or

●make important financial decisions without seeking input from his partner.

The scale should be included in protection orders, divorces, maintenance and children’s court to establish risk and identify abusive behaviour so that victims are afforded the appropriate protection.

Women who are forced to become economically dependent on their partner are at greater risk of being further abused and are less likely to leave the relationship. The early research focuses mainly on marriages however, we have more people that cohabit, and we have more children born outside of marriage in South Africa and more research is required to better understand the behaviour, strategies and impacts of economic abuse.

The research shows us that physical abuse is not the most prevalent form of domestic violence and often only happens much later; emotional, psychological, and economic abuse are more prevalent and pervasive as they are strategically done to create emotional and financial dependence. Dependence affords the controller greater control.

The research also shows us that when victims leave an abusive relationship, access to finances is immediately severed, and access becomes conditional. If you have a protection order or applied for one they will coerce you into withdrawing it in return for maintenance or a divorce settlement. The most prevalent form of financial and economic abuse post-relationship is using child support to continue punishing the victim despite the harm caused to minor children.

This abusive behaviour puts children at great risk and vulnerable to other abusive situations that include further abuse, shelter, food and educational poverty, maintenance and maintenance recovery should be prioritised to protect victims and their children.

The Department of Justice signed an MOU to blacklist maintenance defaulters to much fanfare which will not significantly deter an abuser yet are silent on how they will economically and financially protect vulnerable women and children. If only they had the same enthusiasm for victims and their children and upholding their Constitutional Rights such as;

Access to Justice,

Rights of Children,

Freedoms and Security of Persons,

Right to Human Dignity and

The Right to Equality.

Economic abuse perpetuates gender inequality and keeps vulnerable people trapped in poverty.

#NoExcuseForEconomicA

buse

16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence Day 1

All abuse is defined in our Domestic Violence Act, it is our manual. The regulations for our courts and SAPS are premised on The Domestic Violence Act. All forms of gender-based violence are described in the Act.

The Domestic Violence Act is significant legislation but sadly like many others, it is a great ligislation in ink only. It is the same if you are reporting any sexual, physical or non-physical form of abuse, the experiences in the system and outcomes are that there is no point in getting a protection order because there is no protection.

The Domestic Violence Act was introduced to provide maximum protection against domestic abuse. Domestic violence does not discriminate, it affects all humans and yes it is nuanced and complex. However, our most vulnerable; women, children, the elderly, and our LGBTQ community are more at risk of being victims of Domestic Violence because they are;

• Unable to leave abusive relationships.

• Unable to access help,

• Unable to get proper support.

• Unable to be protected.

• Unable to recover and live a life free of fear, harassment, and abuse and have agency of and for their lives.

  
  

"GBV is a severe socio-economic problem, which is fundamentally rooted in unequal power dynamics between women and men" - President Ramaphosa

At enormous expense and effort, we have a Gender Based Violence National Strategic Plan in response to thousands of women who took to the treets all around South Africa demanding an end to GBV; there is a lot that has been developed and implemented, and progress has been made, and it will take time to see other benefits. Despite a collaborative multi-sectoral effort by all stakeholders, the vulnerable fall through a huge crevasse.

My own and hundreds of victims are not experiencing fundamental change; what we experience is that the system has not improved and continues to fail the victims consistently at every level; there is little to no protection; in fact, the opposite is expressed Victims are put more at risk.

We talk about the system but the system is made up of people, civil servants (employed to serve) are employed to perform critical tasks, Those in the justice cluster have an even greater responsibility TO PROTECT VICTIMS.

There is still a perception that domestic violence is physical abuse and the most harmful form of abuse, and as long as other equally harmful forms of abuse, the non-physical forms of abuse are given the same significance, we will not see a significant reduction in GBVF. Physical abuse is never experienced in isolation and vicitms expereince multiple forms of abuse and it is important to understand and identify all the forms of abuse the vicitm has experience so that the vicitm can be properly protect.

The lack of proper training is evident every day in our family court cluster. I have yet to meet a person who works in the system and understands coercive controlling behavior, the tools, the intersections, and the impacts. In the absence of proper training and a vicitm centric approach to victims they will not be protected, our courts are denying victims protection, excusing and normalising controlling abusive behaviour.

Emotional and psychological abuse, intimidation, threats, harassment, stalking, and economic and financial abuse are all behavioural tactics to coerce and control and there are many different tools used to coerce and control: money, children, employment, sex, shelter, and the legal system are the most common ones.

It is critically important that everybody who works in the family courts and any professional who deals with family matters has a comprehensive understanding of all forms of abusive behaviour, their intersectionality, and their impacts otherwise vicitms experiences will not change.

We should not have to spell out the impacts of withholding money like child support, settling divorce agreements, or preventing one from working,

We should not have to spell out what harm is caused by gaslighting.

We should not have to spell out how our self-esteem has been eroded because of verbal and psychological abuse.

We should not have to spell out how living in fear of being punished or harmed because we did not comply with conditions set out by a controller impacts our physical well-being; if we do disclose, it is used as a weapon to discredit or further harm the victim.

We should not have to explain in great detail that we have no support due to the isolation tactic of controllers.

If these people were informed - they would understand the many risks and act in a manner and with the urgency required to protect victims.

There is very little, if any, PROTECTION for victims in maintenance courts, children’s courts, domestic violence courts, and divorce matters and courts. If these courts ignore and diminish domestic violence, WHO SHOULD be protecting victims?

The rhetorical question is WHY DO WE HAVE A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ACT if it is not doing what it is legislated to do especially in family courts, vicitms are told not to focus on the past but work towards the future. The truth is that this continues long into the future expecially if you have children born from the relationship causing unbelievable harm.

We deserve better and Government should DO better